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Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007
6:55 pm - do you remember the 21st night of september?
most of you have probably forgotten I've had a livejournal.  i almost did too.

lots of happened and those of you who will actually read this will most of it by now.

i finished my first year as an RA.  good and bad fought throughout the year to reach my opinion that I love it. it's hard; it challenges who and what I am and believe in but it has helped me discover something I've been in long search for: myself.  i saw the good and bad that can be brought out in people and myself and we triumphed. <----sorry for the cheesy/poetic/epic way of speech (i currently watching lord of the rings haha)

i found love and this time it loves me back.  i'm happier than i've been in a long time. i visit adam in a month and I'm unbelievably excited.

i'll be starting back at target soon if I can't find something better.  i pray to find something better.

this fall i start my final year of college at central. i'm still not sure what awaits me in the spring.  i might go to grad school- if somewhere accepts me as an RHD (hall director) i won't have to pay for room, board, or grad school. a master's in creative writing would allow me to be a creative writing professor in which i would get paid for what I love no matter what.  i'm looking into it.

most of all and the reason i'm writing in this is because i'm home for the summer and am trying to amuse myself.  in all seriousness this might be the last summer i'm here and one of the last opportunities to really see some of you.  get in touch if you want to hang out.

to all of you,
some of us are still close, some of us have grown apart but i am always here for any of you no matter what.  don't forget that and don't hesitate if you need that.


current mood: contemplative

(1 Hobbit | There's some good left in this world)

Wednesday, January 24th, 2007
4:23 am
On this day of greatness I wish happiness to my most favorite person on this the day of her birth:


:) Love you, sister!!!!

(There's some good left in this world)

Saturday, December 23rd, 2006
3:20 pm
someone just told me christmas is almost here.

wow, i wish it felt that way.

i hate work.

everything happy seems to keep on being tainted by horrible accidents and incidents.

new goal in life:
1)find a job that doesn't make me cry and take away the spirit of christmas
2)submit my writings and actually be able to live off that
3)get hot, find a man who loves me and become a kept woman (i'll cook,clean, and take care of the kids while still writing and trying to get published-i won't be completely lazy :) )

i love christmas more than most people. for goodness sakes, my daddy practically is santa claus. but as of right now it feels like christmas and all the good and happiness that it stands for is the farthest thing away. if this was a lifetime movie some how it would get better just in the knick(hehehe st. nick) of time.

off to work 3:30pm- 12am then 8am- 4:30pm...(throws up at the thought)

Merry Christmas. I love you all and I hope you have a happy holiday. Enough for me too.


current mood: crushed

(1 Hobbit | There's some good left in this world)

Sunday, December 17th, 2006
7:31 pm
home for the holidays. if you want to hang out let me know.

so far since i've been home...
car accident

and hopefully you :)

call me

(6 Hobbits | There's some good left in this world)

Friday, October 6th, 2006
4:43 pm - Let's play spoons...

I am a classic spoons!
Find your own pose!


*actual entry pending...*

(1 Hobbit | There's some good left in this world)

Sunday, September 3rd, 2006
1:37 pm
I got fishies!!! *fishie face*

This weekend has been kind of ehhh cause most people are gone for labor day. I probably should have gone home but oh well.

I got to switch around some of my duty days so I can make SYTYCD vay-cay work. I'm excited for it.

I have discovered Lifetime this weekend and it now owns my soul. It teaches and preaches and is full of bad acting. *sighs* what more can you ask for?

I have decided I love working out. I'm going as soon as this Lifetime movie is over. Hahaha I love life. Wow the girl from growing pains is psycho!!!

Classes are not bad. I mean I'm going to have to do a lot of work in my French and in my Studies in Texts but I like those classes so it doesn't matter. And Creative Writing I love it and it's super relaxed since I have Kim Chinquee again and Dress & Culture- is just about fashion in america. Ya I didn't know but I'm in Project Runway the course. Oh well it should be interesting.

This whole RA thing isn't that bad so far but it's all just beginning. Check in with me in a month.

Ewww, I just saw a commercial for the view. Note to self and all sane people- boycott!

Guys? *sigh* sometimes :) sometimes :( so i'll just stick with the :\ which basically means jigga whaaaaaaa?! ya go team!

I'm so glad to be back at Central. I do miss certain people and puppies like duh, but I'm so happy to be with my friends! Erin, Kat(s), Jen, Christine, Andria, Eric, everyone!!! it's yay!

Ok so this Lifetime movie "On the edge of Innocence" has growing pains girl, Cyclops (from X-men but with two eyes!), Jaime Kennedy, Joshua Jackson, the oldest girl from Mrs. Doubtfire and so much more. Uhh, where were the Oscars on this one. *tears* hahaha

Ahhhh, I have to go before the next Lifetime movie snares me in!! It has Tiffany Amber Thessen(?) in it. Run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(6 Hobbits | There's some good left in this world)

Saturday, August 26th, 2006
1:30 pm
So everyone has moved in and I've had my first two nights of duty. Let's just say the first one was NOT amateur night. Oh well, I handle it and now it's going pretty well. I love alot of my residents and others I think I just need to know better. Remembering so many names and people- my head is gonna ache.

Kat and Jen moved in Thursday. YAY! Andria moved in yesterday. YAY! Erin and Christine move in today. DOUBLE YAY! I can't go visit them today since I'm on duty all day but they can always come visit me! *wink wink nudge nudge*

My love life is confusing. One minute I have no one, next minute thousands of possibilities come out of nowhere. *shakes head* oh college.

I love meeting new people and making new friends. The staff and I spoon every night and it's amazing. Well ok not literally spoon, though I did attack Amanda that one night, but you get the point.

School starts monday but I haven't even really thought of classes, being so busy with all the RA stuff. I'm kind of excited though. I'm not going to lie, I love my English classes and I secretly love my French classes even though I need serious help with them. J'adore le francais mais je le suis terrible.

C'est la fini pour maintenant. Au revoir!

(1 Hobbit | There's some good left in this world)

Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006
10:20 am

ewww lindsay lohen?! oh well I look like izzy!

(There's some good left in this world)

Sunday, August 20th, 2006
12:07 pm

So I've been up at Central a bit more than a week but it's been so busy it feels like it's been a month. Not necessarily a bad thing, since I have been having fun and learning a lot. I love my staff, we are "those" people. Some of the little freshman just moved in yesterday for leadership safari and the rest will come thursday and friday. Every day I get a bit more confident about it all and a bit more nervous. *exhales*

School starts in a week from tomorrow. Which is crazy weird since I haven't even really thought about it. I still need my books.

I love it though.

I miss you though.

The end...

for now

(1 Hobbit | There's some good left in this world)

Sunday, August 13th, 2006
2:54 am
i love the english. especially a certain one. ;)

current mood: loved

(1 Hobbit | There's some good left in this world)

Friday, July 28th, 2006
10:24 am
I pulled a Felicity for the bald childrenCollapse )

(6 Hobbits | There's some good left in this world)

Thursday, July 27th, 2006
3:15 pm - I pulled a felicity...
Does anyone remember me saying I was going to donate my hair to bald children?  Well I did.  And now I'm the bald child.


I've decided to quit life and not leave my room till my hair grows back.  See you in about 6 months.

(1 Hobbit | There's some good left in this world)

Monday, July 24th, 2006
4:53 pm
Ok well for people who read my last journal entry, I said something very exciting happened but I didn't think it would come through so I said I wouldn't go into details.  Well guess what?  It went through!

I'M AN RA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep that's right folks, you are reading the livejournal of the new Herrig Hall 3rd floor RA!  *insert happy dance here*

I'm just a bit bummed I won't get to live with Kat and Jen and Erin and I have the possibility of heinous roomates but still!  Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.  Orientation starts August 10th so that means I have to be up there by the night of the 9th at the latest but yahooooooooo!

*dies of happiness*

(9 Hobbits | There's some good left in this world)

Sunday, July 23rd, 2006
8:55 pm - I want my jar of dirt...
Hey y'all!  Let's see what's new...

*I saw the new Pirates.  Incredible.  Johnny Depp and I are in love and he impregnated me like 12 times during that movie.  I know pretty intense!  Plus Captain Norrington is amazing.  I love you Coupling Steve.

*Also saw Clerks II.  Disgusting and perverted so pretty much amazing.  I love Elias!!! "One ring to rule them all...!!!"  Not recommended for those with weak constitutions though. (Inter-species erotic- "I miss my donkey.") 

*Went up north with Holly and Melissa for the weekend.  A much needed break.  We went swimming and boating and tanning and uhh it was wonderful.  P.S.  I love Ben even though he may be thirty and possibly a father.  But who knows.

*Something really truly exciting happened but it probably won't go through so I'm not even going to describe so not to get mine or anyone elses hopes up.  Either way this fall will be interesting.

* My puppy Duke turned two.  It's a weird indicator of how long ago it was since high school considering we got him a month after I moved up to Central.  How can it feel like just a day but yet forever ago all at once?  Life baby.

* I need to write for real.  I'm scared to a bit.  What if I'm not good enough?  Someone asked me this weekend "Aren't there enough books written?"  I said no, but I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not a bit stressed to come up with something new and exciting considering so many already have been.  Blah.

"The living cartoon"  what do you think of that as a title for a book?  And it's not going to be like Space Jam or anything but how much reality can seem like a cartoon.

        Possible first opening -"I wish my life was like a musical, then even the pain would be beautiful.  Sadly my life is like a cartoon-                 everything is a joke."

What do you think?

*argh, anyways I got to go, I still smell like lake! ewww!

(2 Hobbits | There's some good left in this world)

Sunday, July 16th, 2006
11:37 pm
Wow two entries in one day.  I haven't done that in a long time.  But I'm in one of those moods.  You know the mood- the one which is pretty unexplainable yet you are feeling something pretty intensely.  Is it sad, is it happy, is it heartbroken, is it frustrated, is it desperate, is it what?!  All I can really say is it is contemplative, questioning and it's ready.

That's what it is.  Ready for something.  Anything really, just a change.  Strangely enough change is probably the most feared yet desired and necessary thing in the world.  What do I want to change?  Everything, anything- me and the world.  I need something besides work.  A lady asked me how my summer was going today and I said "Not too bad, just working," and she was determined that a summer must be more than just work.  And you know what, it should.  This weekend I'm going away with Holly and Melissa so hopefully that will help.

It's not just work.  It's everything.  I feel like the same person and though I don't necessarily want to be someone else, I want to be a new model of me.  I have changed so much from high school but at the same time I really wonder if I changed at all.  I see some people that went out and found completely new lives and seem relatively happy with them.  And it's not that I'm not at least relatively happy with mine, I just know it can improve.  I can improve.   It's like cleaning your room just to get it done or cleaning your room to get it clean.  I'm just getting life done.  I want my life to be sparkly.  Damn that sounded lame but you know what I'm getting at.

I was talking to a friend who was having problems with an ex.  He broke up with her cause she needed help with herself, but she just felt she needed him.  I really want to find someone to be with but what if I'm not ready yet.  So many people crave a relationship to compensate for what's really going on in their lives, what they are really missing.  I think that's why so many relationships, dating or even marriages end.  Everyone is just trying to fill the void.  It's like if someone needed a new kidney but you gave them a new liver.  Ya their liver is going to rock and be awesome and make them feel good in that livery way, but that doesn't change the fact your kidney is crap.  Ok so that analogy works for what I'm trying to say but due to my watching too much Gray's Anatomy lately it's hella weird.  But ya, what if i need a new kidney and try instead to just get a new liver?  Like any liver donor would take me anyways...

I'm shy.  Did any of you know that?  I'm like deathly, afraidly(so not a word) shy.  And I'm not sure if it's that or I have like lacking social skills, because even when I catch myself being shy, I'll be like "hey biatch, nobody likes a quiet quacker just say something.  some people find you amusing,"  but then seriously I have absolutely nothing to say.  My head is completely and utterly blank.  Except for lame stuff.  Like, all the horrible jokes my dad had ever said or weird animal facts from back in 3rd grade or something else inappropiate to say to people.  Like "hey, i got my tonsils out once and threw up blood for hours." or "my daddy only has one ball."  I'm just not meant to be near people I guess.

Argh, this helped my whatever mood for like a milsecond.  I'm out.  If anyone actually read that ramble, you win a prize.

(2 Hobbits | There's some good left in this world)

2:02 pm
I should be getting for work but instead I'm here.  Why?  Cause I'm a writer hoes and sometimes I just got to write.  Like Dane Cook said, "Screw chicks, I just need to dance,"  screw work, I just need to write.  I should be writing something I can send in to try to get published and then maybe finally my work and my writing would be one but hey this will do for now.  What kind of an award winning piece can I write in 1/2 hr anyways.  Damn you target.

Target owns me.  Yesterday in one moment I was told I was impressive and they were proud of my work and the next moment I got a dirty work because I didn't finish my reshop.  Mixed signals what what?!  Grrr.  I try my best and that's all I can do.  Have you ever noticed that people always say they try their best but then others are disappointed so it's not technically the best?  This makes me hate people.  And I don't tend to hate people.  Unless of course they throw shoes on the ground of Target, cause hello inconsiderate ones someone has to pick them up and that someone is me.  Where are these people's parents?  Seriously, who taught them how to live?  If I ever made a mess in a store and didn't pick it up my mum would have never let me go to a store again and clean the bathroom for a month or something equally lesson learning.  Society today. *shakes head*

I need to get out and have some fun otherwise I'm going to lose it.  And I barely had it in the first place.  You know that things are bad when you work all day somewhere and then come home and dream of the work you did and nightmares about not folding the shirts correctly.  That's a living nightmare people.  I need something on my brain besides work thank you very much.

And only good things on my brain thank you.  I'm so excited to go back to school because I'm going to be living with 3 of my best friends and get to see most of my others 24/7 again.  But at the same time I'm starting to become a bit nervous that I might retreat to my naughty ways of last year.  And I want to improve this year.  I see some people happy, and others miserable.  The miserable ones are more irritating then the happy ones, because I can tell what they are doing wrong and can't figure out why they won't fix it.  They are irritating because they remind me of me.  I know what's my solution to different problems but knowing and doing are two completely different things.  Yes I want everything to be easy.  Who doesn't?  Who says I want life to be hard?  If you meet that person, kick them and see if they say thank you.

I really shouldn't complain because I'm generally happy.  I mean I got puppies, I got my family and I got some of my friends around.  But hey if I didn't need to complain from time to time, I wouldn't have a livejournal.  They should really call it rant-journal.  They might get some more business.

I want to invent something that no one ever has and everyone needs and then make tons of money and then actually begin living my life.  Finish college, go on missions, get fit and just live.  Damn me not knowing how to invent a teleporter.  Shucks.

Ok I desperately need to get ready for work since I quit math and science at a young age.  You all have fun if anyone actually manage to get through my pointless rant.  P.S.  I want my jar of dirty.- My new philosophy on life.

(1 Hobbit | There's some good left in this world)

Tuesday, July 11th, 2006
11:56 pm - There's too much bootie in the pants...
There really is.  Oh well, I'm working on it.

So ya I feel real safe in my home.  Second summer in a row there was a section of my subdivision police tapped off with the SWAT team running around in their camo.  Apparently someone fired this guy so he followed his boss home (which conviently is in my subdivision) with a knife.  I don't know all the details but I think everyone is safe and they just found the discruntled passed out.  And they say alcohol kills.  Apparently this time it saved by knocking out the homicidal manic.  Geesh Trenton.

I got to see Sarah and Celia today from Central.  We just bummed around but it was good to see them.  I wish I could go visit some more Central kids but I have no time.  And no money either.  Work almost 40 hours each week and still no money.  I love life.

Family reunion this past weekend.  I love Canadians(my family).  Usually it is dull but I had fun chilling with my cousin Pam.  I'm going up to Canada sometime to do the whole under 21 thing with her.  Is it weird after I hang out with them for a bit I start having a Canadian accent?  I think it's nicer then mine now but oh well.

I never understood why Melissa hated Target.  I'm beginning to realize it.  I still like it but working there ruins it.  Especially working every bit of my life there.  Summer is rushing by. Yet not fast enough.

Watching movies always ruins me.  Too many thoughts provoked.

Which came first the love or the love song?

(2 Hobbits | There's some good left in this world)

Thursday, July 6th, 2006
12:06 am - i don't quite know, how to say, how i feel...
i drank a rock star(see energy drink) to get me through work and now i have too much energy to go to bed.

i've been listening to chasing cars by snow patrol off my myspace for the last half hour on loop.  i can't help but loving this song.  i'm not even in the proper situation that this song would speak to but still, it's incredible.  thank you jam(see jim and pam from the american office ;) ;) nudge nudge geeks) for introducing me to this song.

i work constantly and yet i feel like i do nothing.  i've also been finally getting off my bootie and working out.  it also give me supercalifragilisticespaladocious amounts of energy.  alisa came with me this morning but got attacked by all the gym-bots. "alisha, alisha!" oh skeletor! *shakes head*

i've actually been hanging out with people lately.  amazing, i know.  it's hard cause of all the closing shifts i always get but i've even been going out afterwards.  it's been fun for the most part.

i am weak and strong all at once.  sadly weak usually wins.

i'm paranoid but with no real results because despite all the times i have been right i'm usually wrong.  i'm loved, i know it, and y'all can't deny it.

school seems so soon yet sadly too far.  i can't wait.  i'm oober excited and our room seems to be getting better and better.

i'm actually really excited for my birthday this year.  it's been awhile since a birthday meant something.  exciting as it is, i keep on feeling old.  the clock ticks as children look down graveyards.  creeepppppppy.  *boogedy boogedy arms*

ok i have too much energy to write here any longer.  i love y'all.  *muah*

(There's some good left in this world)

Tuesday, June 27th, 2006
1:30 am
insomniac.  that's what i am right now.  except currently i'm extremely tired just too much on my mind.  i can't get over somethings in my past.  well actually i'm over the drama of it but the drama just doesn't seem to be over me and i'm stressed and tormented.  i've always said my life is like a cartoon and trust me if you know the details of my life it is.  but do you remember the old cartoons where they'd show the hand of the cartoonist drawing them and something would go wrong so he would just erase them.  where is my eraser?!  live and learn then get luvs.  ya ok i know that's about diapers but can that apply for life, live and learn then get love?  i've lived, a bit too much some would say, so then i learned.  so where's the love?

i love my friends and family don't get me wrong, but i feel like my life is a movie and coming home for the summer has but my life on pause until i can start it up again in the fall.  at school.  here i work.  i hang out with my family and puppies.  but there are no real opportunities, no real nothing interesting happening.  i miss the fact anything could happen at any moment.  being constantly surrounded with things to do, people to see and new things to experience.  *sigh*

i need to get into shape.  why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?  that statement is even truer because i am a cow!  blah.

self depricating i know.  oh well i got new glasses and i look oober cute in them though.  see?  i made up for it.  hahaha my glasses are awesome cause they have these little magnetic clip things to put on to make them sunglasses and i feel like dwayne wayne! love it!

i love alisa and nicole.  movie fest soon.  and also pirates.

i have 4th of july off.  anything going on at night?  i got family party during the day and such but what about fireworky? hmmm...

oh just found out i get to live with my girls in the fall- kat, erin and jen!  no more even possibilites of scary roommates!  i'm so excited for school.

target owns my soul.  red and khaki are unflattering colors. best buy pays 2 dollars more per hour for only being a cashier.  i do twice that work.  grargle.

mmm i love my puppies.

i want to make movies. not be in them, come on, i don't want to frighten children.  but make them.  not big ones- i don't think.  maybe screen write for big ones.  but ya.  jim and pam did this to me! *shakes fist and swoons all at once*

ok i'm beyond tired. let's try this whole sleep thing again.


(2 Hobbits | There's some good left in this world)

Saturday, June 17th, 2006
12:14 pm - Top story- Strange events unfold downriver
So it's only noon and today is already weird.  I got my first check from target last night and it's really not too shabby for a first check.  So of course this morning I had to get to the bank before it closed and I couldn't roll around in cash until Monday.  Just a drive thru bank run expected to be done meant I kept on my comfy jamma pants with a hole in the knee and blue tank top.  I get everything together, keys in hand and step outside into the already humid heat and guess what?!  No cars.  Shit.  I knew my sister and mum were at work and daddy was nowhere to be seen but I for some reason still expected one car to be left incase I needed to get out.  And get my monies.  But no.  So with only a slight pause what do I do?  Walk to the bank.  Ya me walking to the bank.  Now I actually don't mind walking places, since I mean at school you have to walk everywhere.  But Trenton is really a car place.  I had to cross to major streets to get there (Fort and West.)  It's really not that far away but I'm sorry I don't like crossing roads that are also considered freeways.  Anyways got to the bank in about 15 minutes and got my monies (*see rolling in kiddie pool of cash.)  I think to myself then- where now?  I have two working legs- the world is my onion!  So I recall that one of my dearest best friends Alisa lives down the street of the bank, well for the time being (*see moving into an old people community :) )I go to visit her but as I near the house I see no cars so I call her and she took her red riding hood and basket to grandma's house (beware wolf.)  Oh well, that's fine we chat till I Timmy Ho's for my well deserved ice cap and turkey sandwich for lunch.  Creepiest part of the day- my total came to exactly $6.66.  I'm not gonna lie- I was weirded out.  But I gave exact change and ate my lunch happily, trying not to choke on my demon luncheon.  Cross the two carnivorous streets again and home sweet home all in less than an hour.  Minimal sweat, I am very proud.

I saw someone, Al the RA,  from Central last night while working at Target.  At first I wasn't sure it was him considering since I've been home I've seen a lot of Central look a likes.  I'm so used to seeing the same people everyday when I don't I am lost in their mirages.  This was no mirage though.  As he approached we were both like "jigga whaaaa?"  I being blatant said "Hi" all weirded out and "I didn't know you lived down here."  Apparently he lives in Flat Rock which is only 15 minutes tops(driving this time) from my beloved (really?  it's beloved?!) Trenton.  We chatted a bit and then costumers ran a mock so we parted semi- awkward ways.  Probably spent more time talking to him last night then all sophomore year in Larzelere.  Some how him living downriver makes me like him more. (I was always really iffy about Al, kind of gave off a douche persona.) Hmm..

Anyways, tonight is back into the red and khaki.  They really pretty much own my soul, but for a place to own your soul they really aren't all that bad.  It only really sucks cause it's work and who likes that.  Besides bees.  And who really knows if they like that anyways either.

Oh also yesterday I hung out with Holly.  Love the girl to pieces.  I love our relationship too.  We can go without seeing each other for months then hang out and tell all our stories like there was no time in between.  It's great.  And another bonus, everyone does it.  And until this year Erin and I thought we were the only ones.  Weird.  Holly and I are going to buy me a toy so yay!  Hahaha ;).

Ok I left my puppies out for the whole adventure and all of this entry so I better go get them before they become roasted puppies.  Ooo maybe I'll just fill up their kiddie pool and lie out in the sun for a while.  Despite what Nicole says, even if pale is the new tan, I like a bit of color.  Albinos say what?! (what)

Love y'all.

(1 Hobbit | There's some good left in this world)

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